Social Butterfly

I wonder if there were always this many opportunities for me to go out or spend time with people, or if they've only started now that I have weekends off. Today's blog comes to you after a day trip to the PA Renaissance Faire and before going to a friend's house for a moon gazing party. Thankfully, there's nothing planned tomorrow, so I'll have time to relax and spin and read and clean and just be. As I keep telling Jim, having plans is a symptom of having friends, and that's a good thing. It's just been overwhelming this past month, and I am declaring the second weekend of October to be a free weekend. I will not go anywhere, I will not fulfill any obligations, social or otherwise. I will simply stay home and goof off. Everybody needs the occasional day to putz around the house, and I haven't had one of those in ages. Not that I at all mind spending time with my friends and loved ones. It just gets to be draining, especially after a full week of working. I still don't have a lot of stamina, and I get tuckered out pretty quickly.

So, the Renaissance Faire. If you've never been to one, the easiest way to describe it is to have someone imagine the nerdy kids in high school and their friends, parents, and grandparents all role-playing together. There's a huge estate that hosts this every year, and people come from, well, all over, to wander the faire and look at jugglers and jousts and fairies and pirates and, of course, the Queen. All the Faire employees are dressed in costume and speak in Olde English. It's a lot of fun, especially if you don't take yourself too seriously. There are activities for children and adults alike, and plenty of shows to see and places to shop and eat. You can get a whole turkey leg (tasty, but messy), some of the wine made at the estate (it happens to be a reputable winery, they have the best sangria wine i've ever had), a corset, trinkets and baubles of every type, armor, battle-ready weaponry (which has to be 'peace tied', or basically disabled while you're on the grounds), and all manner of period-appropriate costumes. It really is quite an experience, and the drive out to the estate is lovely, lots of trees and rolling fields.

I've been trying to be as frugal as possible, and not buy things that don't qualify as a need (thus, there was no wine purchased today, i was the model of restraint), but I did pick a Tree of Life neclace up for myself. It's just the right size and design, and it's lightweight. Hopefully, it's sterling silver. I'll find out the hard way if it isn't within the next day or so (the one time i had a belly ring that wasn't surgical steel or pure silver, i had a horrible reaction within twenty-four hours, it was not good times). I hope it is, because I'm lazy and I like to wear jewelry that's special to me every day, rather than changing out lots of different pieces.

And now, my dears, it is time for me to grab a bite and then head out to gaze at the moon. I hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend, and have some of the perfect weather we're finally getting to see around here.

Eating Habits...

...it occurred to me tonight that if I lived alone, I would likely die of scurvy or malnutrition. While I love food in many ways for many reasons, I never really feel the need to cook just for myself. So instead, I end up grazing from whatever is available. For instance, I had crackers with some sort-of-bruschetta tonight, along with olives (green, straight from the jar), and frozen meatballs I defrosted in the microwave. I washed it all down with orange juice. Sitting here recounting it, I feel vaguely ashamed. And yet, I could have had all manner of things, or I could have gone to the store to get supplies, or something that qualifies as an actual meal. But somehow, I don't think I can be alone. How do you eat when nobody's around? Do you make a whole, balanced meal, working away in the kitchen to spoil yourself with tasty treats? Or do you graze from whatever catches your fancy, standing shamelessly in front of the fridge?

By the way, my interview for the forums liaison position went well. I'm getting ready to prepare some writing samples in response to actual forum postings involving my company. I realized today again how proud I am to work for American Muscle. Like any company, we make our share of gaffes, and people will mention that online. It's human nature on both ends. But our customer service is amazing, to the point where customers with nothing at stake will spring to our defense, always willing to tell a fellow Mustang lover that they should give us another chance. And, we work hard as a company to deserve that. I have never worked for a place, or even hear of one, that is so dedicated to doing the right thing and taking care of customers. It's a great feeling, to know I work for a good place that cares. Confusing to me, after all these years at huge corporations, but very good.

That's all for tonight, and I'm barely squeaking in under the wire. But tomorrow, the Ren Faire!

Laura...

...someone made the mistake of telling me she likes my profiles of my loved ones, and this has been rolling around in my head for a while now. Laura is one of my Jersey Girls, and might just be the only person on Earth I love more than Jim.

Laura is beautiful, and she's always put together. That's what strikes you first about her, and she plays right into that. She is crazy smart, but she won't let you in on that little secret until she determines if you deserve to know. Her intelligence is one of her best defenses, and her best weapons. She's had the hardest, most heartbreaking childhood of anybody I know, real or fictional. Her birth mother is one of the most horrible human beings I claim acquaintance with.

Laura's funny and sweet and one of the most compassionate people ever. She's silly and loves children and tanning and hides cookies where her health-nut (and short!) boyfriend won't find them. She's the kind of friend you can call at two am when you've just had a fight with your boyfriend and need someone to vent to who understands. And she's not afraid to return the favor and call you, she shares her vulnerabilities like she shares her strengths. Whether she'll tell you so or not, Laura wants to be loved. And she's willing to fight for love, and to take chances for it. Her bravery is astonishing, especially since she has some pretty tough anxiety issues that she's working through. I've said before that really old friends are like your favorite old sneakers, they just fit comfortably, no matter how long you go between wearing them. Well, Laura's like your favorite high heels; she's classy, comfortable to spend time with, makes you feel your best.

I do speak often of the strong women I'm surrounded by, Laura is one of the strongest I know. She's amazing, and closer to me than anyone else. She holds all the secrets of my little soul, and she's trusted me with many of hers. She's really more than a friend, she's a sister of the heart and I, like so many, would be lost without her.

Blogtoberfest!

Since I am a follower at heart, I thought I'd give Blogtoberfest a shot this year. It sounds like a good time, and a great way to exercise my writing skills. Plus, I'll be spending some much-needed time with the blog. There might be a facelift in the future. And possibly some interesting bits and bobs. Who knows? It'll be a great adventure!

Writing Sample...

I'm applying for a different position at work. We have what's called a web forum liaison position open. Basically, I would be reading and posting on major Mustang forums, as well as answering technical questions and trying to resolve any issues that people are discussing on the boards. It sounds like an interesting, fun job. And it requires writing, which is something I love to do. The problem is, I need a writing sample. I was thinking of just linking to my blog, but many of my more recent posts have been unpleasantly whiny. Still, I feel like the blog is a good example of my narrative voice, and it gives a great sense of my casual writing style. So, I had a brain storm. If any particular post, however recent or remote, has stuck with you, let me know. You don't have to link to it, I can wander through the archives. But I'd like to offer up a bit of memorable writing for this interview, something different or funny or even dramatic or sad. But really, something that resonated. I would love some feedback, and some suggestions. Meanwhile, I'm going to root through my old college essays and see what I can find that might work.

In other news, my family and my aunts are gathering on Sunday to remember my grandmother. I'm looking forward to the family time, and to the chance to learn about woman who, if Momolla is any indication, was probably pretty neat. I hope your week goes by quickly and smoothly, and that you get a taste of our sunshine.

Mourning...

...is a funny thing, sometimes. My grandmother died today. That's the second grandparent this year, and the last one I'm biologically related to. I know my cousins (my mother's sister's children) will be upset by it; they were close to her. Somehow, though, I can't mourn the woman. I hardly knew her. For a variety of reasons, and because of a lot of family drama, we were never close to my mom's parents. I wish, and have wished many times, that this were not so. There will be no funeral, no memorial, no ceremony in my grandmother's honor. She didn't want one; I'm not sure why. So my family and my grandmother's sisters will gather and remember her. I'm looking forward to hearing about her, to learning what she was like. And all the while, I'll feel sad. I will mourn, though it won't be for the woman, but rather, for the relationship we never had.

I'll draw comfort from my Aunt Joan and Aunt Elsie, who I do know and love, and from the knowledge that when I eventually have children, they will know their grandparents. My children will have a gloriously extended family full of love and insanity.

To the grandmother I never really knew. May you rest in peace, and may you leave behind more loved ones to mourn your passing on your next go-round.

Dedication...

...this is for Laura (who is stronger than i can even imagine, and whose willingness to love astounds me), for my Aunt Denise (who is going to beat the cancer a second time, dammit.), for Momolla (who can love so strongly and laugh no matter what), for Kate (who is a rock for everyone around her), for El (who has the courage and strength to be herself, always and totally), for Bells (who is brave enough to share her heartbreak and loving enough to comfort others from the midst of it), for Amy-girl (who is simply amazing, and won't be told no), for me (i am never broken), for all of the fabulous strong wome I am surrounded by.

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

--Maya Angelou

Because, my darlings, my friends, we rise.