Fridays are Fun...

...because weekends are amazing. Thanks for receiving the guest blogs so well. It's such a strange feeling to write for someone else's blog, almost like you're speaking your words with their voice. It's fun, though!

Jim's mother has finally come for a visit, just when we were planning to spend the weekend relaxing. And Dadumms has decided to have a small party for Momolla's birthday this weekend, as well. I'm not at all looking forward to the drive, Jim and I will have to go through Philadelphia, and the President is coming to the city this weekend, so several major highways will be shut down for a while. On top of that, there is a local football game on Sunday. Also, the local baseball team is playing at home in the World Series that day. Also also, there are going to be five or six various charitable events going on throughout the day and causing well-meant chaos. What this all translates into (other than a tedious lack of non-sports related conversation in the news and workplace) is a massive, scary amount of traffic. There are only a few ways in, out, or through the city, which makes traveling difficult. We're looking into different ways to get to Jersey from here. Cross your fingers for us, eh?

In other news, I start my shiny new job on Monday. I'm a little nervous, because my boss is going to a big industry even on Monday, and won't be back for the rest of the week. So, things will be interesting. Still, it will be blissfully quiet without a dozen phone lines ringing in my ears all day. I'll keep you guys posted as things progress.

Halloween is tomorrow, and I'm sort of looking forward to it. Unlike so many of my friends, I'm not going out to party (when did every holiday become an excuse to go out and get really stupidly drunk?), because I'm going to stay home and give candy out to the trick-or-treaters. I like to think of it as karma, since I spent so many happy years going out to get free sugar from the neighbors. Jim was determined that we would be the cool house that gives out full-sized candy bars this year, in a blatant attempt to lure more kids in. We're the only house on our block, really, so we never see more than a handful of kids come through (this makes perfect sense, really, because you want to cover as much ground as efficiently as possible in the time you're allowed). This makes me a little sad, because I love watching the kids troop by in their costumes. Halloween was one of my very favorite holidays for a very long time, and it makes me happy to see kids enjoying it now.

In review:
--Jim's mom finally made it up. Yay!
--I will probably spend most of Sunday sitting in gridlocked traffic. Boo! Hiss!
--I am incredibly tired of hearing about baseball. I could not care less about it under any circumstances, and at this point, I wouldn't start caring if all the players stripped naked and dipped themselves in cheese.
--We're the cool house with the good candy this year. Maybe we'll get real trick-or-treaters
--I burned myself twice tonight cooking dinner, which is pretty unusual and sucky for me.
--Weekend!!!

Guest Blog Number 2

Well that saves me the trouble of thinking of a nifty title. This is Jim, oft mentioned in Em's blog, and just as often made too much of. I've come to guest blog, and I have no clear cut objective to blog about. In addition to that I'm on a time limit of approximately 30 minutes as Em is making porkchops for dinner tonight and doesn't want me to be late for dinner.

The L key on my backlit keyboard no longer works 60 percent of the time. This annoys me to no end. I haven't upgraded my computer for about 2 years now, and thankfully i haven't had to. I'm one of those guys that when something breaks on his computer or car or really anywhere, he uses it as an excuse to upgrade said part.

F-bomb, i need to listen to my music more often, i love metal music! Can you drop F-bombs on blogs? i guess so but im censoring myself just in case.

I'm listening to Lamb of God right now. They're a death metal band that has an especially heavy/grungy/brutal sound, and that suits me just fine, check them out if you like, but be warned that they're not for the faint of heart. For the other end of the spectrum of my main music tastes, check out the band called Red. They're more of a regular rock band. My tastes for music run in this vein: if its not death metal, then it is speed metal with very intricate guitar playing at high speeds or hard rock like Metallica, or some other form of music that involves drums and electric guitars with heavy distortion. Kind of a contrast to Em, who prefers more melodic music for the most part, and light rock.

Emily got me new leaf springs for my Jeep Cherokee for my birthday, which pretty much just kicks ass! They're exactly what i wanted for my birthday (truck parts!) and will make the ride of the truck much more solid and less spongey on and off the road. I figure my dad and i will put them on in a few weeks when i'm sure i have all of the hardware that is needed to do the install. It's an involved process that you don't want to be stuck on halfway through. The springs are special in that they keep the truck lifted without using blocks between the stock leaf springs and the axles, which results in axle wrap and instability off road. I always joke that i like my vehicles the opposite of how i like my women: i like my vehicles to be big, brutal, ugly beasts, and they don't need to be real fast either. I lucked out because Em is directly opposite that: small, awesome, purdy, and smart as anything!

Speaking of my truck, work is going well for both of us. I'm sure that Emily has blogged about her new job, and I'm glad she is going to like it so much more than Pep Boys. That place was hell for both of us; nothing like being the main target for abuse day in and day out. I'm still waiting for that elusive job posting for a promotion that i can apply for, but i think something will come up soon. At least i hope so, i could use the extra money to pay off my credit card debt. I'm hoping to get some sort of promotion in relation to our sister site, americantrucks. This would be good as the trucks are more what i'm in to as opposed to the mustangs. I'm working on as many side projects as i can for americantrucks, trying to get it off the ground and into the aftermarket mainstream so that it really takes off. If this happens, i stand a better chance of promotion and more money.

We're going to get Left 4 Dead 2 in mid November! Our roommate Mike preordered it, and the whole house abused the original Left 4 Dead, so it will definitely kick some asses. We're all psyched for it! I sense a zombie killing party happening in Nov or Dec at some point. And maybe another Magic the Gathering party as well? That would be legit.

So the Phillies are in the World Series. Big whoop, i don't follow baseball. Football and Hockey on the other hand are two of my favorite sports. Em humors me and knits while i watch football some sundays, but she doesn't want anything to do with hockey. This puzzles me because hockey is so much more fast paced. Oh well, she's awesome even without liking sports or anything competitive.

What else can i throw up on here? If you couldnt tell i'm just letting my mind spew out whatever comes up onto the blog. Yup, no insights or epiphanies here, just good old mental vomit through my fingertips. Subtle and dainty? Nope, not my style.

I'm gonna shut this one down with a hearty "Thank You!" to all of Em's blog friends. You all seem like great people who i am very happy that she's gotten the chance to meet. You guys make her smile, and not a day goes by that she doesn't check your blogs. Add to that the fact that you're going to read this blog and tolerate my everyday shotgun style of thought processes, and that makes you freakin awesome.

P.S: Em and Mrs. Wood, i dedicate all the errors in grammar and non-capitalized i's to you both! :D

Guest Post 1...

... brought to you today by none other than Momolla! You can find her at her blog here, where she has also been participating in Blogtoberfest.


So, what to say about my children? Of course they are the most beautiful, smart, funny young women on the face of this or any other planet. They are also ruthless. Don’t, I repeat DON’T make the mistake of becoming a zombie around them. They will double tap you in the head without a scintilla of remorse. I know this for a fact. They remind me frequently.

They are my Wood Women, much to their father’s chagrin. Pk and I were separated for two years when the girls were little. We were driving along and they were bemoaning the fact that we were “alone” and what would we do? I pulled the car over to the side of the road and said “We are Wood Women! We are strong, and we can do anything!” I held my fist in the air and they giggled. But it stuck. Now, when courage or strength are failing, all I have to do is say “remember, you are a Wood Woman” and they can find the last bit of umph. I am inordinately proud of them.

They are warm hearted and kind (along with the ruthless thing). They would give the shirt off their backs to someone in need. They have reached out over the years to extend a helping hand to folks in need.

Our definition of “family” is kinda loose. We have adopted many people who needed a safe haven over the years. Em reminds me of when I used to buy certain fruits that her friend Rachel liked because Rachel spent so much time at our house. It’s very different from the way I was raised. As the girls dated young men, we became attached and mourned their loss when the relationship ended. (I still miss Gio and Tony). They have entered into relationships that are enriching our family in more ways that I can count. Em’s significant other is such a good guy. He has a wicked sense of humor and seems to fit right in to the weird stew that is our family. Kate is in a young relationship and we’ll see but her young man is also a good one. El is unattached but I know one day she’ll find someone who appreciates her for her unique perspective on the world.

So, there is a snippet of the miracles that are my girls. Sometimes I have felt sorry for Pk because he is trapped in an estrogen filled world. He seems to handle it ok.

All things considered, I’m a lucky woman.

Awkward Conversations...

...sadly, they're a fact of life. And, as the department stores are already reminding me, The Holidays are coming up. What this means is that, between the work parties, the gatherings with family, and encounters with random strangers, your awkward conversation quotient will soon be steadily rising. So I thought I'd lend everyone a hand and list a couple of classy, appropriate ways to end an awkward conversation gracefully. That didn't work out so well, so instead, I'm posting a list of crude, rude, ridiculous ways to end a conversation. Feel free to try these out, but only at your own risk.

--Talk about turtles (you can insert any noun you are sufficiently interested in here), make everything the other person says, no matter how non-turtle-related, about turtles. Refuse to acknowledge any subject changes.
--Mention your testicles. This is especially effective if you're a woman.
--When asked about your relatives, even those standing in the room with you, say they are dead. Alternatively, you could say they are in prison/witness protection/have robbed a bank.
--Say you've converted to a religion. Make it up as you go, but make sure it's as crazed as possible. You can only eat green-colored foods on days that have less than three syllables, or you now worship pet rocks. The more bizarre, the better.
--Walk around carrying a ball of yarn, and refer to it as a bunny. Ask people to pet the bunny at every opportunity.
--Whenever an opinion is expressed, either agree sycophantically, or disagree as though the matter were so important, the fate of the world hangs in the balance.
--Make every reply into a question, especially in response to questions.
--Respond to every question as though it were an off-color joke or euphemism, and waggle your eyebrows knowingly. Alternatively, simply say, 'that's what he/she said!' every time someone says anything at all.
--Tell off-color jokes. Tell them poorly, and skip the euphemisms.
--Discuss the trials of personal hygiene, and mention that you've given up on it entirely.
--Constantly stare off into space over the other person's shoulder. Refuse to make eye contact, and try to look concerned. When asked what you are looking at, act as though the other person is crazy.
--Tell everyone that you're not normally like this, but the punch has gone to your head. This works only when you're having a soft drink (especially from a can), or the punch is non-alcoholic.
--Discuss the time you spent in prison, and how 'stalker' is such a mean, unfair word. Follow this up with a series of personal, inappropriate questions.
--Reminisce about the time you were kidnapped for four days by a band of roving ninjas, but singlehandedly fought them off, only to have to join forces with some pirate vampires to defeat a legion of aliens bent on destroying the world's supply of cheese.
--Any time you are asked a personal question, no matter what it's about, say 'well, I woke up one morning on a beach in Mexico hugging an inflatable sheep. It must have been the tequila, but I don't like to talk about it'.
--Ask a question, appear to listen intently, and then ask the same question again as soon as the person you're talking to has answered. See how many times you can get away with this.
--Have the person you are talking to come outside with you to check your vehicle for homing devices planted by the government. Say you had a local garage check, but that you think they're in on the conspiracy. (i swear, two different customers asked us to check their vehicles for illegal tracking devices).

And there you have it. When faced with awkwardness, the best solution is to add even more awkwardness!

Beef Stew...

...does anybody have a particularly good recipe? I'm going to make it for Jim and Coll's birthday dinner, but I've never done anything other than wing it. I figure, if I'm going to be serving it to people, I ought to make sure it's decent.

In other news, I spun like a fiend tonight. The silk wasn't working with me very well, and I need some more patience and time before I start to work with it. So, I started working with the llamney. Gosh, it spins up quick! In half an hour of spinning, I had half a bobbin filled. I'm looking forward to finishing this and plying it, it will be so warm and fuzzy. It should only be a few more days before it's finished. It's nice to not be incredibly slow at something.

Sadly, that's all I have for you today. It was a busy, but uneventful day.

In review:
--Got a good beef stew recipe? I could use one
--I bought some sweet knee-high boots yesterday. They were on sale, it was totally necessary
--Tonight was speed spinning, it was pretty impressive

How's This?

... much as I like the Courier font, I like you guys to be able to read the blog without squinting or doing that thing where you highlight all the text and read it that way. I switched up the background and font colors, too, because as Bells pointed out, light text on a dark background can be difficult on the eyes. Hopefully, this made it easier on y'all's eyes. Let me know what you think, eh?

You know those days over the weekend where you want so very much to sleep in, but your body is pretty much programmed to wake up at a certain time, so even though you stayed up insanely late the previous night, you still wake up like you're going to work (even though on the weekdays, it's a battle to wake up with the alarm)? Don't you just hate those? Yeah, me too.

The church across the street still has a functioning bell. They only ring it on Sundays when a mass lets out. It's such a beautiful, deep, resonant sound. Makes me think of all the books that mention churchbells tolling across an entire city, and how amazing that must be. Also, of the University clock in Ankh-Morpork that tolls silences instead of sound (terry pratchett is amazing. if you've never read one of his discworld books, you are missing out on something wonderful).

Today is going to be lovely and peaceful. The boys are all sleeping downstairs still. I think Jim mentioned going out to breakfast somewhere, which is okay by me. In fact, I might stay home and luxuriate in having the house to myself for a while. The quiet will be delicous. I know they'll head home later in the afternoon (what, doesn't everyone have parties that span whole days?), and I can clean up whatever wreckage is left behind and relax for a while. There's nothing pressing to do today, and nowhere I have to be. It's a beautiful feeling. I'll probably make some kind of soup for dinner, because it's a cool, blustery day. At least the sun is out, though!

In review:
--How does the newer and improveder font/color scheme work? Any easier to read?
--Churchbells are pretty nifty
--Yarn is going to be skeined and washed and thwacked (my favorite part) today
--The breadmaker will probably be pressed into service again. Mmmm!
--There are a few large, sleeping young men scattered over my living room floor

Renovations...

... here on the blog, that is. What do you guys think of the new-ish design? It's not very daring or different from the old settings, but I think I like this. I'm a little undecided on the font, though. I'm fond of Courier, but I can't help but think it can be a little difficult to read sometimes.

This was a good day, all things considered. Jim's mom wasn't able to make it up this weekend, but his dudes came up to hang out. It's 3 am an they're down there going strong. Me, I needed to hit the bed. I know this is technically Sunday, but it still feels like Saturday until I finally go to bed and eventually wake up. Weekends are a beautiful thing, and I can't tell you how much I cherish getting two whole days off in a row to sleep in and relax.

I stayed up this late because I was caught up in a spinning marathon. I finally finished and plied the blue merino I've been working on, and it will get skeined, washed, and thwacked tomorrow. It's going to be a scarf for Laura, and I can't wait to see how it knits up. Now that the merino is off the wheel, I can play with some of the llamney (llama and romney blended together) Momolla gave me, or the scarlet silk that I have. The llamney is soft and pretty, but somehow, the silk is calling to me. I'll let you know how my first foray into spinning silk goes, it's sure to be an adventure, with how steep my learning curve is. Jim's dudes are fascinated by the wheel for some reason, and one in particular asked dozens of questions. It's kind of difficult to break down the technical aspects of how spinning works, why you ply your singles, and what the washing and thwacking does for your yarn for someone who's not at all into fiber. Still, it's worth explaining, even if only so people don't look at you quite so oddly.

In review:
--I have a theory that men don't have inside voices. I think it's a genetic issue linked to the y chromosome or something
--Lots of spinning happened today. Lots and lots, as my knee can tell you
--I make a pretty kick-ass fried meatball
--Tomorrow will be lovely