Monday, January 4, 2010

Here's to 2009...

...The Year That Could Have Been Worse. That's how I think of it in my head. Sure, '09 sucked it's share of unpleasant male anatamological parts, but it could have sucked more of them, and harder. And through all that sucking, I learned a lot.

For instance, I learned that you really do find out who your friends are when you need them. You find out right quick, in some cases. You'll discover who takes days off of work to come visit you while you recover, or who attends a fundraiser to help you get back on your feet.

I learned that there are more people than I ever imagined that care about me. That's an incredible, and an incredibly humbling, feeling. Just when I thought I was the most alone, the most isolated, I discovered that I had a huge extended family to lean on. My family spans continents, and the globe, and it's full of people that I'm proud and honored to be loved by. This blog, and you, my darling readers, gave me more support and love and strength and hope than I ever imagined possible.

'09 taught me that I am stronger than I gave myself credit for, by far, and that no matter what, I am never broken. My mate lost his job, I had major health issues, lost three months of income, and still made it through in tolerably good mental shape. In fact, I'm happier and more comfortable with myself than I have been in years. I have overcome major obstacles, and I managed to do it without spending too much time as a soggy, weepy mess.

In 2009, I learned to let go of the things I can't control, and to accept that sometimes, I can't control everything, even by sheer force of will. '09 also taught me the power of karma. If you put good out into the world, it will come back to you, whether you feel you deserve it or not.

2009 taught me about commitment. Through the entire Alien Spine Baby Saga, Jim went to every doctor's appointment, every test, and every procedure with me. He held my hand through everything, and was as strong and steady and hopeful as it's possible for someone to be. When times got tough, Jim got tougher, and taught those tough times that they didn't know the meaning of tough.

This past year was an eventful one. It had its good moments, and its dark ones. There have been worse years, and better ones. But if I had to pick one word out to describe 2009, it would be: love. Love may not conquer all, and it may not make heroes out of cowards. But it will grant courage to a failing heart, compassion to a friend in pain, and hope to a despairing family. So, since I'm not going to make resolutions this year (i have my 101 to work on still, and that's keeping me plenty busy), I'm going to pick a theme for 2010, and it is love. Plain and simple and beautiful. So, happy 2010, blogfamily. I love you all.

In review:

--2009 was crazy. Straight up crazy.
--I'm not at all sorry to see it go. Not even a little.
--Reading my blogs from earlier this year is depressing.
--Love is wonderful, but it would be okay with me if 2010 also equalled increased personal fortune. Just sayin'
--I have a girl date this weekend. We're going to the mall. Where there are jewelry stores...


Rose Red said...

Yep, you really did have a tough year. But great that so much good came out of it in the end.

I think I'd add "humour" to "love". I think your sense of humour and your ability to see the absurd in the tragic, really helped you through. It would be nothing without love though.

Monique said...

Beautiful post Em. Its a little hark back to that other post about love you did just a little while back. You are so right. You don't understand the meaning of love till you reach crisis point.

May 2010 be the best for you and Jim and all who surround you.

Bells said...

It was huge Em. And you made it. With flying colours. Good girl. xo

Roxie said...

They say that women are like tea: You never know how strong you are till you get in hot water. The hardest times in my life have been the most important. Hooray for your survival! Naahh - you did more than survive. You triumphed!

Galad said...

2009 was a challenging year but you came through and are on the road to a great 2010.