Tuesday, March 10, 2009


That was a whole mess of grump right there in that last post, wasn't it? Thanks so much for the support, and for listening to me vent. I don't know what it was, but suddenly, everything was piling up on me and I was just feeling a little smushed and crushed and crumpled around the edges. Not broken, though. Never broken, right? Right.

There is some good news and some positivity through all this, though. My cousin Maggie's best friend is named Isabella. Momolla brought my aunt and uncle up to speed on the Laslow-Mitford situation and my aunt passed this information along to Isabella's parents. Isabella's dad happens to be Dr. James Metz, one of the foremost pediatric oncologists in south Jersey. Apparently, he wanted to step in and take charge of my treatment and make sure I was being taken good care of and that I was in good hands. My aunt talked him down a little, and he sent me his personal cell phone number and the message that if I had any questions, needed any help or wanted a second opinion, I could call him. This level of generosity from a total stranger just floors me. Here I am, his daughter's friend's cousin, and how tenuous a link is that? And yet, he was concerned enough to reach out and offer any help he could. I think when I am feeling a little more grounded, probably tomorrow, I will call him and thank him for his kindness. And ask him a few questions. I'm not exactly a pediatric oncology patient, but he might know of some resources I can use, especially with the insurance company.

Speaking of those stupid assholes, I'm going to e-mail that same aunt and ask about legal aid. She's a lawyer and works in a federal court building so she probably has a much better idea of what's available than I do. And she's pretty awesome, so it'll be nice to catch up. I feel a little bad I haven't let them know what's going on before, but what with trying to keep everyone updated, some of the people I love have slipped through the cracks. As it is, there is a list that Jim and I divide up after every procedure for who needs to be called and updated. Somehow, though, I always miss someone.

Through all the fear and the nerves and the waiting, I have been surrounded by the most phenomenal support and just covered in kindness. As with anything in life, there's sweet to go with the bitter. I truly am blessed with wonderful women who have stepped up to offer comfort and warmth and humor and caring. And tons of hugs, whether virtual or actual. Thank you all, for letting me fall apart a little, and for giving me strength when I need it. I couldn't do this with any degree of grace were it not for you all. On Thursday I meet with the doctor again, and I'll let you all know how that goes as soon as I do. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and keeping my mantra going through my mind.


Bells said...

Holy cow. Some people are amazing but honestly, I say get whatever help you can. i watched a story on the US health system last night, something we all know is bad anyway, but i was close to tears listening to how people have to sell their homes to get medical help. And if they don't have a home to sell they just get sicker and die. It's wrong.

This man sounds really kind. Lucky you.

Rose Red said...

Yay for good people! Hope you get somewhere with insurance people too - hopefully you will get the one good person there to deal with.

Donna Lee said...

Wood women bend but never break. It floors me how compassionate and kind people have been and I am so very appreciative of this. And I'm glad you seem to have recovered some equilibrium today.

Roxie said...

Yep, when you need something, tell EVERYONE you run across. You never know who might know someone who can help. And by all means, talk to the lawyer aunt muy pronto!

So glad you're feeling a bit more chipper. You'll be less likely to tell your lady boss to kiss your ass when she condescends again.

Julie said...

So lovely when people come out of the woodwork to look after you... nothing makes a girl feel more loved.

My mother saw a pediatric oncologist once, I went along. He was AMAZING. I don't know if it's cause or effect, but they seem to be very gentle, patient, calm, soothing people, who can answer questions in simple terms that anyone (even a kid! go figure) can understand. Even if you don't switch over to him for treatment, use him as a resource. I'm so glad you have someone like that in the wings.

Hang in there.

Galad said...

I'm glad you have a medical person to at least bounce things off of. Just understanding the medical jargon can be extremely frustrating.

I know you will have ups and downs but underneath it all you a very strong person with a great support system.

Besides, you have an army behind you. How many people can say that :-)

Kate said...

I'm almost always amazed at how willing some people are to help you. One night not too long ago, I had a table come in late. They were a little buzzed, but not drunk, and we were chatting since they were the only table in the dining room. We talked about school and jobs and I told them I was working to save up for an eventual degree in education.
Later, after they'd paid, I glanced down at the credit card slip to make sure they'd signed it. They'd left me a $50 tip. On the table was another $14 with a note saying, 'You need some cash, too. Good luck!'
I almost cried.