Friday, February 20, 2009

Mental Health Day...

...because it's been a week straight of rolling out of bed, going to get some tests done and/or see a new doctor, going to work, coming home to make dinner, and going to bed so I can try to sleep before I repeat it all again the next day. I finally got to the point where I was literally worrying myself sick, and I decided I needed a mental health day to just assimilate everything and relax a little bit. I didn't have any doctors appointments or tests, and I called out of work. I feel kind of guilty, but I really, really needed a break. So, I spun and I knitted and I tried to have a normal day. And mostly, it worked.

I got to bring my very bestest friend up to speed on the whole situation today. Clearly, I haven't been hiding this or anything, but I just haven't really been able to call her in the last couple of days and she doesn't read the blog (she is so missing out!) so I called today and explained everything to her. Funny, but it's easier and easier to explain what's going on. I'm not sure if I'm still kind of in shock, or if I'm starting to come to terms with the many possibilities I'm facing. I've been dwelling on the less pleasant ones today, maybe because the nice nurse yesterday told me I'm too young for this. I don't feel young any more. The weirdest part of all of this is that I'm still not having any trouble breathing. I blame it on ten or fifteen years of playing an instrument. Even though I haven't seriously played in a while, my lungs were pretty developed for a while there. Even at diminshed capacity, they're still pretty good. Something else band was good for, I guess.

I've already thanked you all for the encouragement and the warm thoughts (and thanks for letting various family members and spouses know, the more people thinking good thoughts, the better) and the caring, but I'd like to again. Your humor and caring give me strength. Especially the humor (nothing beats the facebook conversation about which color of booties would work best for an alien baby. nothing.) I really, truly am surrounded by warm, wonderful women. Men, too, but the women tend to really stand out. And Jim has been every bit as supportive as could ask for. He shleps me around, he lets me rant when I need to and he understands when I need to be quiet. He also tries his hardest to make me laugh, and to let me know he's here. I am a lucky woman, to have such a network of love and support.

And while I'm gushing (sorry, took some benadryl hoping it'd help me sleep. not so much, but it makes blogging fun!) I should say that pretty much every medical-type person I've encountered has been warm, friendly and compassionate. Even the chiropractor's office has been awesome. They called me today to check in and see that I was being taken care of and that my doctors were working with me effectively. And just to make sure I was okay. And they'll keep checking in. Dude, that's amazing. I have never met so many complete strangers who actually care. I think this just supports my resolve to put more kindness out into the world, since so much has been sent my way by so many people.

The knitting continues apace, though at this point I don't think the mitts will actually be done for Monday, unless we have the slowest weekend ever at work. That is a strong possibility, but I don't really see it happening. Ah well, the cat was out of the bag, anyway, since apparently Dadumms reads the blog. I had no idea, or else I would've left out the mention of my homemade present. Now it's one more person I have to be sneaky about if I want to give presents out. And I'm so very bad at being sneaky!

Time for bed now, I can't skip work again tomorrow or they might kill me, sympathy or no. I hope everyone's weekend is warm and sunny and awesome.


Rose Red said...

Oh Mental Health Day - great idea! Glad you had some time to yourself and to catch up with your besty.

Hope you have a good weekend.

Bells said...

I was getting all choked up then I read the facebook bit and laughed out loud. That was a fun conversation and I think of green alien babies every time I walk past my red cashmere now!

SO glad you had a MHD. Absolutely vital.

Galad said...

A Mental Health Day sounds like it was just what you needed.

You are right about Facebook discussions. I keep thinking about whether red socks would like too Christmasy on a green skinned alien!

Hope the weekend is just the right combination of distractions and relaxation.

Julie said...

I'd probably be hitting the tequila by now, so a mental health day of knitting and gabbing with a friend sounds positively constructive. Good for you. Go easy on yourself through this, let yourself be as emotional, as upset, as ANYTHING as you want. It's hard enough without beating yourself up over your feelings.

Let me know what color baby booties y'all decide on, and I'll knit a matching baby surprise jacket.

Hugs, and hang in there! I suggest chocolate as a coping method.

Donna Lee said...

I'm in for some baby socks. I'll make the pink ones since I know how much you LOVE pink. (you can think of them as sorrority socks). There are a lot more good people out there than otherwise. I've always been a firm believer in karma and that nice matters. You're reaping the benefits of your own goodness.

Dianne said...

I agree with your mom 100%. Karma is out there, and you are getting back just a small portion of what you have given out!